Kadaj's Past
by mikokatt
Summary: This is my version of Kadaj. What if he wasn't always Jenova? what if he had a life that helped make him insane? This is what I came up with. Enjoy! Btw, warning of rape.


Hey guys. This is the past for Kadaj in me and my friend, emozexion19, our set of fanfics. Daj is not a remenant of Sephiroth. He had a life before, and he was implanted with Jenova cells. Enjoy!

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><p>My past is a bit of a blur, but when I really focus on it, it all comes back. This was my story before Jenova came in to my life.<p>

My brothers, Loz and Yazoo, were 7 and 4 when I was born. I was the last child of my parents, mostly due to the fact that my father had cancer. He was already in stage 3 when I was born. It wasn't long before he was in stage 4. That's when he died, and it was my fault.

We had gone to the lake that day. I was only 5 at the time, but I could already kinda swim. Unfortunately, I was always a trouble maker, always going off on my own. I swam out in my little floaties, I hated those things, leaving my family towards the shore. Next thing I knew my father was behind me. "Kadaj, I thought we told u to stay close to the shore. Head on back."

I looked at him, and he wasn't mad, he was smiling. I smiled back, and it was one of the last times I ever. I started swimming back, and I turned back to see if he was following, only to see him pulled under. I started to scream for him, about to swim after him, only to have Loz, 12 at the time, pull me back. "It's too late Kadaj. If you go over there you'll just get pulled under too."

I fought against him, trying to get to him, but Loz was big and burly even back then. He drug me back to shore, me fighting the whole way. By the time we got back to the shore I had stopped fighting, giving up to just cry. The next few hours are a bit of a blur, even now. I remember my mother crying, Yazoo trying to calm her, I sat off on my own, realizing that what had just happened was my fault. I had just caused my father to die.

Loz had swam out once the riptide had died down, pulling our fathers body into shore. An ambulance had been called to take the body, and my mother went with our fathers body to the morgue, leaving me and my brothers to make our way home.

I refused to let anyone touch me, though Yazoo continued to try to comfort to me. I wouldn't speak either. We went home in silence, and I went straight to the roof, to be alone.

My mother refused to speak to me for months, though she spoke to Loz and Yazoo often enough. I understood. She blamed me, as she rightly should. I blamed myself for it, spending all my time in my room alone, when my brothers weren't in there, or on the roof.

It was about a year before HE came. My mother remarried Mark, bringing him to live with us. He seemed ok at first. He was nice, and I let him into my world. He was the only one I spoke to really. He soon took advantage of that though.

He was with us at the house for about a year when it started. I was in my room, alone, the first time. It was just me and him home at the time. Mother was at the market, and my brothers were at school.

He walked in, closing the door behind him. I looked up at him from the book I was reading. "Oh, keihu, I didn't hear u come in. Can I help you with something?"

"Actually, you can Kadaj." He sat on the bed next to me, taking the book and plopping it on the floor.

"What's up Keihu?" I turned to him.

"We're going to play a game Kadaj. You have to do everything I say though ok?"

I nodded. "Ok. What's the game?"

He pushed me back on the bed, pinning me down. "Wrestling? This isn't new Keihu." I struggled to free myself of his grip.

"Don't fight back Kadaj. We aren't wrestling."

I stopped. "Then what…"

He just shook his head, moving my wrists into one hand. "Don't make a sound, or you lose the game."

I nodded, very innocent of mind at only 6 years old. I did however, know what was right and wrong, my father had gotten around to at least that. So when he slid his hand down and under my shirt, I panicked. "Keihu….stop. This…this isn't right."

He just glared at me. "It's ok Kadaj. We're family. That makes it ok. Besides, you need to be punished."

I looked at him wide eyed. "What did I do wrong?" I could feel him stroking my slight chest.

"You hurt your mother. You killed your father. And you didn't even seem to care." I felt him pinch a nipple.

I yelped, making him smile. "I…I didn't mean to kill father. I tried to save him." I felt him pinch again.

"That's a lie Kadaj. It's bad to lie. You killed him. It's all your fault." He slid his hand out of my shirt, traveling lower.

I struggled to get free, but he had me pinned, and I was no where near as strong as him at the time. As he slid his hand down to cup me, I was fighting tears. I didn't want this, but I had no choice. He was going to do what ever he wanted to me, and I could do nothing to stop him. I felt his hand around me, his fingers stroking. I'll never forget the look on his face the first time. It looked, victorious, like he had been planning it for awhile now. And he might have. I never asked.

Almost every time everyone else was out of the house, he was on me. I got bold one day, threatening to tell mother and my brothers if he didn't leave me alone. He glared at me. "You say a word to anyone about this you little brat, and I'll hurt you. You think this is bad, you have no idea. I don't think anyone would really argue with me though. This is punishment for what you've done." That was all he said about it before attacking me.

It was always bad, but one time stands out from the rest. I had had enough, I was scared to sleep, to be alone with him, and I couldn't say anything to anyone, so I was alone. So, I did what any scared 7 year old would do, I ran away. I knew the terrain for the area, and I knew exactly where to hide. There was a cave, about a mile from home, that no one went to because they thought bears lived there. There was no bears there, so it was a perfect hiding place.

I was there about an hour, maybe two, before I was found. I was hoping that if anyone found me, that it would be my brothers, so I could tell them what was happening. But, as with the rest of my life, I had horrible luck. Mark wandered into the cave, and I hide in the corner the best I could, hoping he wouldn't see me. He did. "You damn brat. You have any idea the trouble you've caused?" he stormed forward towards me.

I pressed myself against the wall, afraid of what he would do to me. I was right to be afraid. He grabbed my hair, throwing me to the floor. I tried to crawl away from him, but he wouldn't allow that. He slammed me to the ground, kicking me in the ribs. I stayed down, hoping he would just let me be, of course, he wouldn't. he bent down, grabbing the front of my shirt. "You thought the other punishments were bad kid? You asked for the worst."

I was terrified; he picked me up, grabbing my pants. I struggled a bit, but I knew there was no point. He ripped them off, pulling off my boxers as well. He threw me back to the ground, knowing I wouldn't go anywhere. I watched as he pulled his own pants off, bending down next to me. He flipped me onto my stomach, the rocks cutting into my chest. I felt him part my legs, and I started to cry. I knew what was happening, and I knew enough that I knew it was going to hurt, so I tried pleading with him. "Please, Keihu, I'm sorry. I'll never leave home again. Please don't do this."

He just laughed, holding my legs apart. I felt something press against my entrance, and I froze up. He spared me no time to prepare. He slammed into me, ripping me apart. I screamed in pain, I was much too small for someone his size. He gave me no time to adjust, just slamming into me; I was surprised he didn't break my small body. I yelped every time he slammed in. He just laughed like a crazy person. He spared me nothing, exploding in me. He pulled out, still laughing. "Get your skinny ass dressed and let's go. And don't think we're done. When we get home, then I'll punish you some more."

He beat me when we got home, letting my family watch. After that though, I got lucky. Yazoo and Loz knew something was going in, so they caught me in our room one day, making me tell them what was happening. Yazoo held me as I cried, telling them every thing. Loz barely kept from trying to beat up Keihu for me. They did what was best for me though. The three of us packed up our stuff, and we ran away.

I was free of him, though I knew I would miss mother. Thankfully, we didn't have to worry about food or shelter for long. We were eventually found by Vincent, back when he was a turk. He took us to Rufus, who gladly took us in, making us Jenovas,

I look back on those days with horror, but I still wonder about Mother. I know my life is a lot better now though then it ever was.


End file.
